I believe one of the biggest challenges any person will face or have to go through in the endeavour that is dream pursuit is dealing with disappointment. At one point or another you will experience it if you haven’t already. There’s no way you can be optimistic or hopeful and not eventually experience disappointment. It doesn’t mean what you hope for or what you’re pursuing won’t happen, it won’t happen at the time you hope it will. Even if it does happen eventually, there will be many roadblocks along the way. Things that don’t work out. You’ll wonder what else you can do because you believe you’ve put in the work and you’ve done everything right and still it’s one disappointment after another. At some point in all that you’ll want to give up. You may even be tempted to give up daily.
Your family and friends, who love you, telling you to give up. Circumstances telling you to give up. And one or more disappointments getting you to the point where you think you can’t take any more. What do you do then? How do you deal with disappointment? The answer to that is what will determine whether or not you keep going. When you learn how to deal with disappointment you become resilient. That will allow you to be able to be persistent.
I wasn’t great at dealing with disappointment. It resulted in me checking out or feeling like my life sucked and nothing will ever change and wondering if any of it is worth it. I’ve found if I remind myself that everything is happening for me and not to me, I’m able to accept whatever has taken place. It lets me know that despite what has happened I’m on the right path. Just because something transpired in a way that was not what I expected doesn’t mean it didn’t happen the way it was supposed to. It might not be evident to me in that moment but whatever happened would be for my good. Even if it isn’t, it will teach me something. For example a lesson that costs you a thousand dollars or ten thousand dollars now might not be great but it may save you a million dollars in the future.
Another reminder I’ve found helpful is that sometimes it’s not about you. Yes it’s largely about you, your growth, lessons you need to learn, basically you being prepared for the life that comes with achieving your dreams. But sometimes it’s really not about you. You may be putting in all the work and doing everything right but it’s just not the right time. The partner or manager that’s going to take your work to the next level is still being prepared. The technology that will lead your work to the next level is in the making. There are companies that thrived during the pandemic and continue to do so now that were not doing well before 2020. The timing may just not be right.
In the same way the results you expect from your efforts might not be happening just yet, you could benefit from appreciating that it may not be the right time. Keep putting in the work, being consistent and disciplined and in time the fruit of your efforts will manifest itself. Dream pursuit is a ‘not giving up’ game. It’s right there in the small print. You didn’t read that part when you started did you? Neither did I. Aren’t you glad you started though? I know I am, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this.
George Carlin said: “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” So it’s important that we each learn how to handle disappointment. I don’t know what will work for you. I’m still learning how to deal with it too. It’s necessary to learn how to handle disappointment because whether you like it or not, it’s part of the deal when you choose to go after your dreams.
