As someone who is a dreamer and who believes in the power of her dreams, there is a lot that I’m trusting God for. That means there’s a lot I’m waiting on God for. For the most part I find myself waiting on God in faith but sometimes I go through periods where it gets too much when specific things are involved. I’m sure we all go though times like that.
Although our thoughts are powerful and we are co-creators with God, I can do my part but ultimately God is in charge. I think I was now forgetting that. I’ve recently had to be reminded that if I say I trust God I have to trust His timing as well. Not only that but I have to be obedient.
There was something I was hoping for before the end of last year. After the great year I had I was ready for this thing so I asked God if it was time. In answer I felt God was telling me to wait. In sermons, Bible reading and talking to people a certain verse came up about 5 times in a space of 2 days. That’s how I knew what God was trying to tell me. So I waited, allowing myself to be comforted by the verse.
The verse was Isaiah 40 verse 31 which says “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not grow weary; and they shall walk and not faint.”
I had been asking God what to do. To move with what He has put in my heart or to wait. When the answer was to wait I realized I had been asking already with an answer in mind. We tend to do that a lot but if we’re going to trust God we have to trust even the answers we don’t want to hear.
When it became clear that what I hope for would not happen anytime now, it brought me to tears of frustration. I remembered though that in the psalms David took his frustrations to God so that’s where I took mine. In my spoiled brat crying one of the things I said was “God I know you love me but it doesn’t feel like it right now.” I’m even embarrassed to admit that because I know without a doubt God loves me and that Christ loves me. Enough to experience death, even death on a cross! How ungrateful could I be?
God, the loving Father that He is, answered me the next morning when Spirit led me to read the first chapter of Mark. At verse 11 I read “behold, this is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased.” I started crying because I felt God saying that to me as His daughter. I felt God talking to me through that scripture. I am His child and He loves me. Not only that, He is pleased with me. Now how can I continue grumbling when I’m being showered with that kind of love?
This experience has also shown me that it’s not just about me but it’s about anyone that I wish to impact. I want my life to be a testimony of God’s goodness and love. How will that happen if I’m willing to let some impatience bring me down? I’m no superman so I won’t claim to be strong. What I can do is turn it over to my Daddy, God, who is the strong one in our family 🙂 I hope you do the same when what you hope for doesn’t happen in the time you hoped it would. When waiting feels too much.
I don’t know what you’re waiting on God for or what is making you feel unloved but I just wanted to share this so you know you’re not alone. In the past feelings like that would have resulted in me taking matters into my own hands and ending up worse off than I was before. Taking my frustrations and disappointments to God has had a better effect. Not only am I left feeling loved and appreciated, I know no matter what happens God hears me when I speak to Him and He will answer me if I will listen.
I’m still waiting but with peace in my heart.