In each Issue of Sibo-Lifestyle Magazine, we celebrate individuals that dream big, pursue their dreams and are pursuing success on their own terms. I’d like us to learn from them, to see how like us they are or how they differ from us. For us to see what we can do differently or continue to do to pursue our own dreams and success. This month we get to delve into the heart and mind of Nkanyiso Siziba James.
Nkanyiso Siziba James is an entrepreneur to whom women empowerment comes first. She is the Founder & Executive Director of Duduzile Trust and the Director of Lior IT Services, an IT service company whose target market is women owned start-ups. All this, whilst being a wife and mother of two. How does she do it all? Read on and find out about a life changing event when she was ten years old and about how she balances work and family. She also bravely and vulnerably shares about having post-natal depression and how she got through that and other triumphs in her life. She is an example of what real life superheroes are made of.
Where are you from and where do you currently live?
I grew up in Gwabalanda, Luveve in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. Currently I am staying in Bellevue.
Tell us about your childhood. What was life like for you growing up?
I was an only child till I was five. My first friend and playmate was the little boy next-door. We made shack houses from cardboard boxes, climbed trees, played with train sets etc. So, growing up, I was somewhat of a ‘tom-boy’ as they say. My father was a lecturer and therefore an educationist. He taught me algebra and geography while I was still at primary school. For toys he bought my sister and I engineer sets, and when he finally gave in to our cries for dollies, they were black and with hair quite like ours. My mother was a nurse and a disciplinarian. She was also an excellent home-maker and I loved having friends over to see just how good our house looked. Being a daddy’s girl however I never got as close to her as I wish I had. Sadly, when I was ten, she passed away.
Her death left me shattered and I struggled with it for many years after. School, which had always been easy for me, became quite difficult, as I languished in the pain of losing this woman I wished I had known better and spent more time with. My beautiful mom was gone and with her our once beautiful house, my beautiful clothes and beautiful life. I was bullied and teased in high school for the way I now dressed etc. However, watching my father take his own journey and struggle with the grief inspired strength in me to survive my own woes. He is my shining example of resilience and tenacity.
Growing up did you ever imagine you would be doing the things you are doing now?
I wanted to be a chemical engineer, with a husband, two kids and a dog. Full stop. Life, however, takes its own turns and gives us a collection of experiences and scars, which eventually shape our destiny. From as early as I could remember I loved counselling and encouraging people, especially girls. My experiences helped me develop quite the sense of empathy at a young age.
So far, what are you most proud of achieving in your life?
I am proud of setting up Duduzile Trust, a women’s empowerment ministry which works to empower women academically, professionally, socially and economically. I am happy that I was able to turn some of the worst experiences in my life into something helpful to other women and girls. I am also proud of setting up Lior IT Services, an IT service company whose target market is women owned start-ups. I started this company when I was nursing a little baby, proving to myself (and others, I guess) that it can be done, and that’s what I am most proud of.
What are you currently working on?
I am currently working on developing programs for Duduzile Trust which will meet the unique needs of women (our audience.) So far, we have managed to launch Vision Board Parties, Business Showers, SheEO Lunch Out, BizTalk and When Women Speak. These work to help women in business start, run and grow successful business enterprises and participate in the economic development of their communities. We are currently designing more programs like these. I am also, under Lior IT Services, offering business card, flier, catalogue and website design services especially to women owned start-ups and small businesses. We are also in the process of establishing online shop design and set up services to help women reach global markets.
What did you do before starting your own business or working on your own projects?
I worked in the IT department at KPMG Bulawayo for four years, and then at Charisma Agency for two years.
What made you decide to start a business? How did you come up with the idea and why that particular business?
I have always been an enterprising person, but the economic state of our country made setting up my own business absolutely necessary. I am an IT person by profession and hence my IT services business. My service packages however are inspired by my passion for women’s economic empowerment, and therefore we tailor-make our services particularly for women owned start-ups and small businesses.
What made you decide to start Duduzile Trust? How did you go about getting it off the ground?
Duduzile Trust was set up in honour of my aunt, Duduzile Sithole. Her life and work taught me a lot about womanhood, marriage and motherhood. I did not understand her and her story fully until I grew up and had a family of my own. My experiences in marriage and motherhood often times reminded me of her (she had passed away two years earlier,) and the things she would tell me. I wondered how many other women go through the same, and need the help my aunt and I needed. It is this realisation of just how hard it is to carry personal issues, in-laws, a spouse, children, money matters, hopes and dreams and all that and a desperate need to help women in similar situations, that made me start Duduzile Trust.
Getting it off the ground involved telling my sister, writing down the vision (which is to empower women to be their professional, academic and personal best,) assembling a Board and with that I thought I was set and good to go. However, I soon learnt that starting an organisation meant asking myself deep personal questions about what it is I wanted to say, what my opinions were on matters affecting women etc. I needed to find my identity before I could find that of Duduzile. I needed to find my voice before I found that of Duduzile. Often times I had so much to say, yet I had nothing to say. It was not until I found the help, healing and answers to my questions and situations that I was able to make Duduzile provide the same. The journey has brought me much healing, clarity and peace – and I hope Duduzile Trust will do the same for women everywhere.
What do you enjoy about running your own business and working on your own projects?
I enjoy the creative space and freedom I get to express my thoughts and ideas. I also love that I am in charge of my working hours and can better balance work and home. I enjoy receiving feedback from my audience and customers after service or program delivery.
What have you found to be difficult or challenging as an entrepreneur?
Besides the instability and volatility of our economy, I have found defining oneself and one’s brand to be one of the hardest things about entrepreneurship. I found I needed to listen to what the market wants, what the competition was doing, and then to myself – what I want to deliver and who I want to be, and somehow mix all that together to create my product and service offering.
How has the Coronavirus affected your business and other projects; and what have you learned as a result?
Coronavirus has affected my two projects differently. Duduzile Trust is developing and launching programs for now, and some, if not most of them, require events to be held. With
COVID-19 public gatherings became impossible and this rendered our events calendar null. While we have been able to host a few online events (that is, BizTalk and When Women Speak,) it has not been the same. We have obviously taken the time however to restructure our team and functions in line with the new normal.
For Lior IT Services, COVID-19 and the subsequent new normal has been a major boost in operations. Online presence is now more important than ever and we are seeing an increase in the number of clients needing websites and online shops set up. We are in the process of finding more innovative and cost-effective solutions for women in business, which will enable them to trade online and reach global markets without breaking the bank.
I have learnt that adaptation is indeed the key to survival. Life is an expert curve-ball thrower and the survival of a business rests on the owner’s ability to think on their feet and come up with innovative solutions to problems.
If someone wanted to start their own business or work on their own projects, what insights would you give them?
I’d say read. Widely and wildly. Learn from the best and the brightest. If books are too much for you, find articles instead. Know your trade and know the business terrain. A mentor is also an excellent idea. Get one. There’s a Chinese saying that says: ‘A fool learns from his own mistake, a wise man from a fool’s mistake.’ Learn from the mistakes of others. We learn from two things – mentors and mistakes. Mistakes, however are quite costly. Learn from those of others. I would also say, start somewhere. The only way to start is to start. Sure, you will stumble and fall a few times. It happens to everyone. Just start and get going. Sometimes we become serial workshop attendees and we never do anything or go anywhere with the information. Start.
What role, if any, has social media played in bringing attention to your business and projects?
I have learned that social media does not bring attention to anything. The proper use of social media does. One can only harness the power of social media when they understand just how to do so. There is a formula to posting adverts. You need to know when and how. Once I got this right, social media has helped me market my work and my passion at least country wide, from my house, with a baby on my hip. It is a key resource in the economic emancipation of women, seeing as we are yet to win the gender tasks and roles battle.
Do you have dreams, goals or a vision for your life? Have you recorded these in any way? If yes, how?
Yes, I do. I have a vision board where I record my vision for my life. I then do smaller vision boards each year, which ultimately feed the bigger vision. I go one step further and create an action list, or a to-do-list if you will, to write out what exactly I have to do to achieve my goals and ultimately my vision. I map out ‘blocks’ of things to do by when so that I manage to do what needs to be done in the set time.
Have any of your dreams or goals come true or been achieved?
Oh yes, quite a few have been achieved. Setting up Duduzile Trust and the various programs under it, setting up Lior IT, and the service offerings are a few.
What drives you in life? What keeps you going?
God, my faith in Him, in His Word and in myself. My father. My sister. My children. My battle scars and the victories they represent always pick me up when I feel down and out. My vision as colourfully illustrated on my vision board.
What does success look like for you?
Success to me looks like waking up every day to do what I love and getting paid for it. Success to me is when I wake up to serve and empower women, raise Godly children, and be in good health both physical and emotionally, and in all that make enough money to live comfortably.
Have you ever failed at something? If yes, what happened and how did you handle the situation? What kept you going?
I have failed at a lot of things and a lot of times. What keeps me going is that at some point I unlearned, forgot, or both, how to give up. I do not give up. I keep going. If the door is closed, I try a window and I have found that unless it was not meant to be, I will eventually win.
What has been the most trying time of your life? How did you work/live through it or get to the other side?
My first few years of marriage and motherhood were difficult. Leaving the home one grew up in to go and be part of another family can be traumatic. I married into a family larger than and culturally different from the one I came from. Life as I knew it changed in ways I could have never imagined. Marriage itself can be difficult sometimes and requires a lot of work. I lost large chunks of myself trying to fit in, make things work, build a new life etc. I failed dismally at all of it and sank hopelessly into depression.
Then I had post-natal depression after the birth of my first child, my son. I was afraid I would hurt him and I felt suicidal sometimes. I felt guilty about the way I felt and never sought help. I thought maybe I was a bad mother. What mother could ever hurt their own baby? What woman cannot trust herself with her own child? Then one day I saw an article about post- natal depression on the Baby App I had. Understanding is the beginning of healing. While I had received healing on that issue, the other ones remained.
Change came when I watched the movie War Room, which taught me to pray for my marriage. In prayer I found that God is more interested in me and my emotional well-being than in the situation. I prayed, I cried, I breathed and soon, little by little, pieces of myself I had lost along the way came back to me. Piece by beautiful piece, they came back and I remembered who I was, my hopes and dreams, my strengths and gifts. I wrote these things down, and I re-visit them from time to time.
I also read the book Fool-proofing Your Life by Jan Silvious which helped me manage myself and my relationships better. I am also grateful for Steve Harvey and his TV show. His humour and his take on women’s issues schooled, encouraged, made me laugh through the tears and gave hope to me as I went through my storms. As a little girl I had always been inspired by Oprah and I have always wanted to host talk shows for women. One day when I was feeling particularly down and out Steve Harvey interviewed Oprah herself on his show. It felt as if he brought her to me, to my house, to remind the little girl in me – the dream. It was his most memorable show in my books and I got up that day and have never looked back.
The other story that spoke right to my heart was that of Princess Diana. Talk about marrying into a different family, life and culture. Talk about trying hard to fit in. Talk about marital woes. It seems her experiences developed in her such a sense of empathy and desire to help the less privileged, which she did with such grace and ease. Even after her divorce she continued her work, showing that she was enough, even without a husband and a royal title to ‘generate her particular brand of magic,’ as her bother said at her funeral. These, together with my sister, my father, my friends and prayer partners carried me to the other side.
Are you in any way or form taking care of or feeding your spirit, body and soul? If yes, how are you doing that?
Spirit: I have a daily prayer routine and a YouTube playlist of songs and inspirational videos, called “As’ambe” which means ‘Let’s Go.’ I listen and add new songs to it all day. I also have a prayer partner I share my faith walk with. We have some awesome times in God’s presence.
Body: Detoxing occasionally. I am not supposed to eat sugar but sometimes I indulge, leaving me feeling sick and sluggish. However, warm lemon water every morning, followed by a high fibre breakfast, salads and fruits for lunch, and plain yoghurt, and all is right in my world.
Sleep: I sleep eight hours every day and drink a lot of water during the day.
Eat: I like to eat salads and fruits, especially during the day. I tend to have a huge supper, which most might frown upon, but I am actually trying to put on a bit more weight:-)
Soul: I love a good book and to play with my children. I love to eat good food and a good cup of tea always hits the spot. I also talk to myself quite a bit – I love to be alone with my thoughts. My husband thinks it’s weird… lol! I also love to take walks – prayer walks, self-talk walks, nature walks and walks for the fun of it.
How do you show yourself love, if you do that?
I listen to and value my own thoughts. I love buying myself clothes and perfume. I also enjoy a good massage, hair and nail do. While I am not able to put myself first as it were, I put myself…as in I do not forget to set aside some time, love and attention to myself.
Do you have a morning routine? If yes, please share.
Prayer first. Then I get ready for work. When I get to work, I clean my work area. Something about cleaning (and these days sanitising surfaces) gets me ready for the day. I have a diary session with myself. I write down what needs to be done on the day and tick as I go. The ticking gives me such a sense of accomplishment and achievement.
Do you have any people you consider role models? (Living or passed on) If yes please name them.
Yes, I do. Oprah Winfrey, Steve Harvey, Winnie Madikizela Mandela, Princess Diana, Tsitsi Masiyiwa.
What 3 (or more) books or movies have played a role in your personal development and growth?
Books:
- Fool-proofing Your Life (Jan Silvious)
- Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill)
- 48 Laws of Power (Robert Greene)
- Becoming (Michelle Obama)
- Lean In (Nell Scovell and Sheryl Sandberg)
Movies:
- Hidden Figures
- Queen of Katwe
- Harriet
- War Room
For someone at the beginning of pursuing their dreams, what book/s would you suggest they start with?
- How to Build A Million Dollar Business in Zimbabwe by Strive Masiyiwa
- Rich Dad’s Cashflow Quadrant (Robert T. Kiyosaki)
- The Richest Man in Babylon (George Samuel Clason)
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad (Robert T. Kiyosaki, Sharon Lechter)
If you were to be well known for something, what would you want it to be? Or how would you want to be remembered at the end of your life?
I want to be known as the woman who successfully challenged gender norms, biases and stereotypes and helped the creation of a world where women are socially and economically emancipated. I also want to be known as the woman who successfully advocated for limitless possibilities and opportunities for women, and who spoke truth to power not just by her words but by her deeds. I want to set up organisations and institutions that exemplify such things as gender equal workplaces, and social structures that enable the full participation of women in economic development. We win by actions and not arguments.
I want to live up to my name and light the way to show women everywhere what is possible and within reach, should they dare to believe in themselves. I believe our work at Duduzile Trust will help me do just that.
What life lessons or thoughts would you like to leave the reader with?
Respect yourself enough to trust yourself.
There’s a way you think and feel about certain situations and things. Do not talk yourself out of your own sense or view of the world. It is one thing to have everyone fail to validate you and/or your thoughts and feelings. It is another to fail to do so yourself. Trust your instincts, your thoughts, your fears, your proclivities. Do not talk yourself out of your feelings and honest opinions on matters, be they love and relationships or business or whatever. That inner voice is your inherent, in-built internal compass, which is supposed to help you navigate life. Life experiences may add to it and increase its scope. Listen to it. Sometimes it can save you a lot of trouble. You would rather listen to yourself and be wrong than the opposite. The regret and guilt afterwards can be crippling.
Your biggest battle in life will be against the things set to keep you from showing up.
Past experiences, current settings as it were, duties, responsibilities, etc, hold back the real you from rising and showing up. The world has problems and some of the answers are locked up in you. Slay every giant in your way and do your best to show up. The world is waiting for you. We are waiting for YOU.
As a mother of two, I am constantly aware of the fact that my children will learn how to take life on from me, just like I learnt it from my father.
William J. Toms said, “Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some person ever reads.” I believe as parents we are the first life manual our children read and as such, we need to be good ones. No pressure, but that’s just the way it is.
How can readers access you and support you or your work if they would like to do that?
For Duduzile Trust: Facebook: @DuduzileForWomen, Twitter: @Duduzile4Women, Instagram: @duduzileforwomen, Website: www.duduzile.org
For Lior IT Services:
Facebook: @LIORITSERVICES, Website: www.liorit.co.zw
