I want that kind of faith

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When I was about 13 or 14 years old, my mum took my cousin and I to visit a friend of hers. Whilst we were there, her niece sat us down and told us about faith. We had no idea what faith was or why it would ever matter in our lives.

She read us some verses from the Bible regarding faith. She told us that if you had faith you could do anything. She told us that if you truly believed then nothing was impossible and that God would always provide no matter what. What stood out for me was when she spoke about faith that can move mountains. At the time I took it literally and thought that if you had enough faith you could actually say to a mountain move and it would move. I remember saying to myself ‘I want that kind of faith’. From that day on whenever I prayed I asked God for that kind of faith.

Time went on and when I was at university I had people always telling me I wish I had your kind of faith. I hadn’t really thought about it but the seed that she had planted had taken root without me even realizing it. I remember one night before an important test, I had people in my room, we were chatting all night and I had my textbook open on a certain page. I kept trying to study but I was enjoying myself too much to concentrate. One of my friends who did the same major as me came at one point and asked why I wasn’t studying and I told her God would provide. Funny thing is I really did believe that. The whole night I read nothing but that one page. The next day we wrote the test and the whole test was on the one page I had read. Many people were upset about that and less than 40% of the class passed, I was one of them.

That was 21 year old me’s kind of faith. I could give so many other instances where things like that happened but point is, I had the kind of faith I had wished for. I believed and God delivered, all the time.

I think because I was so unprepared for things not to always go my way, I fell easily. I was not equipped for what I considered unanswered prayers. I was too immature and naive in my faith to understand that faith doesn’t mean having things always go your way and always getting something because you prayed for it. It led to what I like to call ‘my rebellion against God’. And boy did I rebel! In the end though, the only one who suffered was me. And when I was at my worst I turned to God like a rebellious child does to his/her parents. Fortunately for me, he took me back with open arms, no questions asked. That right there is how great God is.

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