The most read post on my blog is this post, titled ‘Letter to you who is feeling lost.’ That tells me that there are many people out there who feel lost. People who don’t know what to do about it and people who would like that to change. Not long ago I was one of those people. I was living a life without happiness, no improvement, drinking frequently, smoking, among other things. Things that I would never have seen myself doing. All that birthed so much guilt and shame in me that I thought God would never accept me. I felt like I was damaged goods and I wasn’t “good” enough anymore.
In this post I talk about how a journal entry I made crying out to God changed my life. I told God how broken I felt, how I was throwing my life away and wanted to change but didn’t know how. I had turned into a person I felt like I didn’t know, someone I wasn’t proud of anymore.
After I cried out to God when I felt like I’d had enough, when I felt lost and had nowhere to turn, He heard me. He took me back with open arms, no questions asked. I told God exactly what I had done and said “God, please help me.” God, the good and loving father that He is accepted me as I was. I didn’t try to get myself in order before going to Him. That’s not to say I hadn’t tried in the past. I’d stop something, for example drinking for a few weeks or months and be back at it again before long. I was trying to treat the symptoms, not the root cause.
Now my life is completely different from what it was before. Turning to God gave my life significance. It’s made me know I am loved and that my life matters. It’s given me a sense of belonging. It didn’t just affect my spiritual life but my whole life. I now live with purpose, following my passions and live with peace in my heart with the knowledge that God’s got this. I can safely say I am happy, something I doubted would ever happen. Don’t you also want that?
As you are
I turned to God as I was. And through the Holy Spirit now living in me, over time I stopped all my different vices without even trying. There was no willpower needed on my part. That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes think about those things but I make sure I don’t place myself in situations where I will be tempted. That means I don’t go out partying anymore and avoid being in places where I’ll be likely to indulge. There’s nothing wrong with those places but I know my triggers and my limits. After God dealt with the root cause of my actions, that is my feelings of insignificance and feeling unloved and alone. It led to me no longer needing to self medicate through the drinking and smoking which were damaging my body.
The point I’m trying to make here is that you can turn to God as you are. Turn to Him as you are and the Holy Spirit will work in you to will you to walk the right path. Accept that Jesus died for your sins and that He is your Lord and Savior and repent of your sins. You should also ask God to send His Holy Spirit into you. I can’t tell you the exact words to use but I’ll tell you this, God knows your heart and if you cry out to Him He will hear you. In time you’ll look back and be able to pinpoint exactly when things turned around for you.
You will be saved. That means you will be born again in Christ Jesus. Meaning you will be covered by grace. All your sins will be forgiven and you start a new life where you don’t have to feel guilt or shame because God sent His son Jesus Christ on this earth to die for our sins so we can be born anew and go to heaven when we die. I’m not a pastor or a Bible scholar who could explain it to you in detail but I can speak from my experience.
From my experience turning to God was the best thing I ever did. Instead of throwing my life away the way I was doing, I’m now living a life I’m proud of as a daughter of the Most High God. It doesn’t make me perfect but it makes me able to share my testimony with you today so you know you don’t have to walk alone on this earth. You don’t have to continue feeling lost. There is a Father, who loves you, waiting with open arms to call you His daughter, His son. He longs for you to come to Him. What you are reading right now is one way He is courting you because He loves you. He loves you as you are. Even if you don’t think so. He loves you unconditionally no matter what you have done or haven’t done. He loves you at your worst and will love you at your best.
If you’ve read this far it means you know you need Him. Turn to Him and He will hear you. Don’t worry about how He will work in you or how long until you see change, God knows you and He knows what will minister to your heart.
What to do next
I know at this point I should advise you to join a church but I’ve found if you’re starting out sometimes it’s not the best idea for everyone. In some cases that’s what turns people away from God. I say so because it’s us as human beings who sometimes fail people and those people end up thinking God failed them. What helped me was reading the Bible myself. I’d suggest you start by reading the New Testament, namely the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I find John the best to start with. Over time the Holy Spirit will lead you to what you need to read. Choose a version of the Bible that you find easy to understand. I use the New International Version. It’s up to you, which one you prefer.
Watching different preachers who preach love more than anything else also helped me. Preachers like Joel Osteen and Steven Furtick. There are many more but these are the ones I started with because I felt no judgment from them. I needed that because I was already judging myself.
When you feel loved by God and know you are covered by grace and are ready to fellowship with others you can join a church in your area. Be sure to continue reading the Bible yourself so that you are not led astray as many have been. If you’re not sure about something go and read about it yourself in the Bible.
You can also ask God about it. I know that’s a whole other topic, which I’ll write about next week, but God answers when you ask questions. It might not be a loud voice from above, it could be through something you read, a sermon you watch, something someone says to you, something you consider a coincidence or a million other ways. If you ask and be open to see and hear the answer, you will. If you can’t wait until next week to read about ways God talks to us you can say so in the comments section or email me and I’ll send you examples.
It’s not all going to be sunshine and rainbows
When you turn to God it doesn’t mean everything will be rosy but that you can get through anything through Christ who strengthens you. I wish somebody had told me this when I started out because it would have saved me a lot of heart ache.
You will have days and times where you doubt yourself and even doubt God. Days where you wonder if God is on your side because you are hurt and disappointed. It’s ok to go through that because we are human with human emotions.
The important thing is to give those feelings and thoughts to God. I’ll say something like “God I don’t understand why this is happening. I thought you led me to this. Why did you put me through this because you opened the door and then closed it? But I know you love me and know what’s best for me so I’m going to trust you. If I’m supposed to learn something from it please let me do so. Please heal my heart of this hurt that I’m feeling.”
In time God will show you why what happened took place. You will see how it was for your benefit. Even if you realize why 5 years later, you’ll look back and thank God for closing that door. My mom once didn’t get to buy an apartment she wanted to buy because the sellers changed their minds at the last minute. She didn’t understand why God would allow that to happen. A few years later she read about how that apartment block burnt down. God knows what will happen in the future so we have to trust that He always has our best interests at heart.
The sad part is that sometimes we are so hurt or disappointed or angry that we turn away from God. As a result we never get to see what was on the other side. And we could have been so close to our breakthrough or to what we hoped for.
Sometimes it won’t be anything God does or doesn’t do. It will just be us disappointing ourselves. You might still struggle with that anger, guilt, shame, or other feelings. These might manifest themselves through you becoming irritable, shouting at loved ones, screaming in traffic, turning to old vices. Just because you turn to God doesn’t mean the world stops trying to get you. Temptations will also be there.
What can you do then? Trust God through the Holy Spirit to guide you and counsel you and show you the right path. If you fall, get up, ask God for forgiveness and move on because God is a loving and forgiving father who knows your heart. You just need to be sincere.
There’s no reason for you to live another day, another minute, another second feeling lost. Turn to God as you are and He will accept you with open arms because He loves you. If you’re still not sure if He loves you or not, read this letter. If you have any questions or need any help along the way please feel free to contact me through the comments section or email email@example.com.