This is an extract from my book Letters to my daughter to be. I think every woman can relate to experiences of love, heartbreak or both. Below is what I’d like my daughter to grow up knowing about love and heartbreak.
My dearest daughter,
If someone loves you they will make sure you know it. You will not have to wonder if they love you. You won’t have to read through their messages a thousand times trying to deduce what exactly they meant by placing this hyphen here instead of a coma. You won’t have to ask yourself over and over again if maybe there’s something you’re missing. You won’t have to keep checking your phone to see if they’ve called.
It took me a long time to realize this but my dear, when you are loved by someone who says they love you, you will know. Their actions will speak for them. Don’t let someone’s words be the only deciding factor. A person’s actions speak louder than their words. Is he telling you he loves you but treats his mother and sisters like they don’t matter? Is he telling you he respects you when he scoffs at everything you have to say?
My darling, your craving for love will only be fulfilled if you love yourself. You see if you love yourself you will treat yourself with love and those around you will follow suit. You my dear are lovable. You are beautiful. You were made in the image of God. You are intelligent. No matter what anyone tells you, you are worthy of love and respect.
My love, sometimes people will treat you however you allow them. I’m not talking about non-consensual acts of violence. I’m talking about staying with someone when they mistreat you because if they’re doing that now they won’t change when you’re married to them. I’m talking about letting someone walk all over you and complaining about it but staying in the relationship.
All this might not apply to you now but bear it in mind when you start to enter into relationships. It will save you a lot of heartache. It won’t save you from heartbreak altogether because at one point or another it will happen. When that heartbreak occurs, the only advice I can give you is that it will pass.
Yes it will hurt like nothing you’ve ever felt before. It will make you question if you were ever loved. It will make you question if you will ever be loved again. Yes you will. You will look back on that time and discover something that it taught you. It won’t feel like it when it’s happening but believe me you will discover it and be thankful for the lesson or lessons it taught you.
I love you my darling,